Brace yourself, ’cause this limited edition eye, cheek and lip palette from TheBalm is taking the cosmetics industry bad puns arm race to a whole new level. The Balm Jovi palette features twelve eyeshadows, an illuminator, a blush, and two lipsticks, all featuring titles punny enough to make you think that your dad had a hand in naming them.
Look, I’m not a palette person. I never had been. Maybe it’s because I’m a makeup artist and I like everything to be customised to my personal use, or maybe it’s because there’s always eyeshadow dust in the lipstick pot. Palettes are messy business, yo.
This palette sets itself apart from the pack with some crafty packaging though, with a magnetic fold that seals off the lipstick pots from the eyeshadows and face powders. It also doesn’t come with a brush which, for me, is a positive – little tiny palette brushes and sponges are universally useless and take up space that could otherwise be used for another eyeshadow or an extra magnet to keep the palette closed. Less filler, more killer.
The shadows are split into three colour families: Heavy Metal, Classical and Alternative. Heavy Metal is a set of warm metallic shadows, Classical is a mix of matte and satin shadows, and Alternative is a set of cool frosts. The colours overall tend to more wintery shades given that it’s an American palette released for their autumn/winter season, but the colours are not so dark as to be unwearable here in summer.
- Metal-ica is a white silver frost with a soft, slightly powdery texture.
- Iron Maid-In is a gold metallic frost. It’s not a super golden gold and is quite sheer and muted.
- Lead Zepplin is a olive frost with golden pearl.
- Alice Copper is an intense burgundy frost. The pigmentation was super strong and makes for a kickin’ rad eyeliner when used wet.
- Adagio is a soft creamy satin shadow. It has plenty of pigmentation and is a little more yellow than MAC Shroom.
- Allegro is a camel brown matte shadow. It has a very strong yellow undertone so use it with a light hand if your skin is on the cool side.
- Moderato is a dirty purpleish brown matte shadow. The pigmentation is good but it requires a little finesse to get a smooth colour payoff, so I’d suggest using this over an eye primer.
- Presto is a mid-tone brown matte. While it’s not the most visually exciting eyeshadow in the bunch, its the most wearable of the bunch.
- Blink 1982 is a soft pinky mauve with a touch of golden shimmer. Colour payoff was great and this makes for an effortless neutral eye colour.
- The Stroke is a navy blue with purple and blue shimmer. It has great cover when applied over an eye primer or used wet as an eyeliner, but is patchy and uneven when applied dry.
- rem is a dusty violet with golden pearl. Normally I have trouble with purple eyeshadows but this one applied like a pigmented, buttery dream.
- Third Eye Blinded is probably my pick of the entire eyeshadow collection. A soft peachy/vanilla frost, it has excellent pigmentation and applies super smoothly.
- Solid Gold is theBalm’s Mary Lou Manizer luminiser under a different name. I tend to use it as a high shine eyeshadow rather than a facial luminiser because it really is super duper shiny.
- Don’t You Want Me? is a fun peachy matte blush. Although it looks mad crazy bright in my swatch it’s actually rather soft and buildable.
- Milly is a lip and cheek colour is a soft pinky beige without any shimmer or sparkle. I like it better as a cheek colour, as it gives just a nice flush without looking makeup-y.
- Vanilly is a blue-based red creme lipstick. While it’s not the most unique of shades, it makes up for it by being an excellent lip stain.
What: Balm Jovi limited edition Rockstar Palette
How Much: AU$44.95
When: available now
Where: David Jones
* The item in this post was provided for editorial consideration.