Dear Australia Post,
The postman who services our section of Pyrmont takes great joy in leaving my parcels out on the street or on top of a bank of mail boxes, free for my shiftless scumbag neighbours to take. I hope they enjoy the endless bounty of freebies they steal because your mailman is too goddamn lazy to leave a parcel slip or – and this is a crazy idea, but bear with me – put the parcel in the mail box or leave it with the building concierge.
Australia Post might leave my mail out for everyone to help themselves to, but you’ve gone one step further.
Your guy in Pyrmont just hands over my deliveries to anyone. Today I found out that back on the 28th of August your courier happily signed over a $280 hair iron to… who knows? He certainly didn’t sign it over to me. Congratu-fucking-lations to you, Startrack, on taking laziness and ineptitude to its dazzling peak.
UPDATE: with some more digging I’ve seen a consignment slip saying this particular parcel was delivered with a signature (to who?) and also the courier company saying they’ve attempted delivery three times over a period when I’ve been home all day accepting other deliveries without issue. So it turns out that it wasn’t a delivery being handed over to just anyone, it’s a delivery that never actually happened in the first place. I’m somewhat surprised that it’s 2012 and buildings with intercoms have been a thing for the past thirty years and people still don’t know how to punch in an apartment number and press the big button stamped with a bell, but who knows. Maybe this will all be a moot point when someone finally invents a Star Trek transporter bean.
Australia Post and Startrack, I’m trying to run a business from my home. Part of that business involves me regularly receiving mail and courier deliveries. I’m here day in, day out, always here to sign for deliveries or collect parcels. Maybe at some point you’ll actually uphold your part of the deal and safely and competently deliver those goods to me.
Until then, though, I’m officially sick of your bullshit and I’m really over constantly having to apologize for not receiving goods because of you. Shape up.
— Lara Hill/swatchgirl (@theswatchgirl) September 7, 2012